Endo-Living Journey

On 19th January 2015, I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst at my left ovary (3.59cm) and a breast lump (25.2mm x 5.3mm x 7.6mm) at my left breast. I was asked to have another ultrasound at my breast and the result was multi-lobulated fibroadenoma or fat necrosis. (Ps: To all beautiful ladies out there, please check your boobies regularly for potential signs of breast cancer) I had the most breast exams examined by three physicians in a day. I was also suggested to have surgery to remove ovarian cyst as doctor suspected that it could be malignant.

One week later, I went to another gynae for second opinion and the cyst grew larger than 4cm (less than 5cm) and I had CA125 blood test and the number was high. (Ps: I did some reading that CA125 could be absent when disease was present, or levels could be high when no disease or no malignant disease existed) i was told surgery was not needed with ovarian cyst less than 5cm but follow up monitoring was essential.

In February 2015, my ovarian cyst grew larger than 5cm and that was the time I started to know more about endometriosis. I was assumed to have endometriosis due to dysmenorrhea (painful periods/menstrual cramps) Facts: Endometriosis is a disorder in which tissue that normally lines the uterus grows outside the uterus. The tissue can be found on the ovaries, intestines, lungs, or other part of organs. This disease is very common but little understood disease and it affects one in ten women worldwide. (Ps: I found out that there was no cure and could last for years or be lifelong) My gynae suggested me to either go for oral medication, hormone injections, or excision surgery.

It took so much effort to hide my health problems from my parents as it was not the right time. (Ps: I wanted them to enjoy a wonderful Chinese New Year without worrying and freaking out) but unfortunately they managed to know somehow. My aunt recommended me to go for another doctor in the state she was living at and she was a female gynae. She found out that I had 4-5cm blood cyst (didn't mention about endometriosis) and surprisingly she told me to wait for the cyst to rupture and it would disappear naturally and I rolled my eyes like " Doctor, what if it ruptured and the pain could be terrible and i heard is very risky???!!!" and she said "Dear, if you encountered these symptoms, please do send yourself to emergency department" and my aunty suggested that I could quit my job and rest at home as if asking me to wait for the cyst to rupture and could be recovering after all. I decided to go back home to discuss with my parents. 

In March 2015, I had a terrible stabbing pain which turned out that I couldn't move around and only could stay in my bed. The pain continued for quite a long time and i had no choice but to take breakfast and pain killer in my bed and took emergency leave from work. I had encountered stabbing pain on and off previously (not as serious as this time!) and stabbing pain was one of the common endo symptoms, other than that including nausea, ripping, bloating, cramps, throbbing, tiredness, and others. I used to shout out due to stabbing pain during work (lasted for few secs) and my colleague would be staring at me for few secs and then we went back for work and I found all these pretty amusing. There were days where nothing could make me laugh or smile. Sorry for waffling that much hee! Back to my topic, so i went to see gynae in my hometown with my parents (that was the first time they accompanied me) and the doctor explained them about my condition patiently and we made a decision to go for injection instead of surgery. (Ps: at that time, the doctor said it could work with injection but not guaranteed to shrink the cyst but no harm to try. Plus endo could be returned within 1 or 2 years after surgery and I put the surgery in my last option list)

(That was my breast lump)

(That was my left ovarian cyst)

(Msg between me and my boyfriend after telling him about my health condition)

From the journey, I ….

• Know more about the endometriosis disease through articles, websites, facebook and instagram, not only experiencing the symptoms and pain by myself alone but many people out there are battling the same disease with me and I am not alone. I also find out that March Endometriosis Awareness takes place across the globe during the month of March to raise awareness.
•   Feel that living with an invisible illness is so hard that less people will understand as we don’t look sick at all
• Feel that it is super wrong not to tell my parents about my health condition at the very first place
• Received different suggestions from relatives, family members and friends in overcoming my health conditions like (a. straight away go for surgery b. doctors are commercialize, they diagnose the disease but the only person to overcome all these is myself so no surgery, go for natural alternative and stay happy and positive c. listen to doctor’s suggestion, injection or pills maybe? But not surgery)
•  Thought of having breast cancer and ovarian cancer at the same time (breast lump and ovarian cyst were found in the same day) and overly obsessing in finding information about the cancer symptoms and had my breast check every day. (started to appreciate things and people around me)
• Truly appreciate the positive encouragements from my family members, boyfriend and friends.
• Was having a hard time handling this invisible illness that I had to work a lot (less manpower in my working place) and hiding my health condition in the first two months away from parents.
•   Feel that different doctors have different treatments and opinions. Thus it is vital to make decision only when emotions are calm
•  Realize that when the mind is cluttered with negativity, crying can make us feel better (but not too much) and have to realize that life is a series of ups and downs and we have to focus on solutions and talking to friends and families can be helpful!
• Try to be positive. (pain is real, so is hope)

Have a good day! :D

Love 

Jer